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Thursday, 02 July 2009

  • Breakdown: A demon’s guide to using communication effectively.

    By Dr. Wormwood PhD

    Communication breakdown is an excellent way to destroy relationships. Historically this has been one of our greatest and most effective tools. I always marvel at how easy it is to use and how much damage it can cause. One of my favorite books is Jack Hornfield’s inspirational “Human Soup for the Demon’s Soul.”  In it he includes story after touching story of countless marriages crumbling under the skillful use of communication breakdown. In this article, I will explore some tactics I have found very effective after   centuries of seeking new means to bring down these loathsome creatures. I will show you the pitfalls to avoid and how to ensure that the lines of communication stay down. I know you will be inspired to use these simple tricks to bring ruin to your own subjects.

    This area is so rich in possibilities for us in large part due to the fact that these human varmints have so much trouble communicating before we even get involved.  All we have to do is monitor the situations, put a little twist in here and there, warp their perception, throw in a few mental distractions and “eureka!” – soon we have a delicious bevy of bitterness, anger, rejection, and loneliness. When we can break down their relationships, we can isolate them from each other. And when we get these humans alone, they are so much easier to pick off.

    Let’s start by taking a look at the basics of Communication. Communication between humans consists of three core components. First is perception, the second is expression – or the sending of the message –, and the final component is understanding, or the receiving of the message. At each one of these points there is much potential for sabotage.

    Perception

    Let’s look at Perception. Humans are pathetic when it comes to their ability to see reality. They have so many factors that color the way they see things that they rarely, if ever, see things accurately. Their ability to assimilate information is so limited that they are forced to be selective in what they hear and selective in what they remember. This is where we enlightened angels do some of our greatest work. The possibilities for exploiting this weakness are endless. For example, get your subject to only pay attention when certain people are negative about him or her. Try to get him to forget all the times that other people are positive or encouraging. Soon you will have him writing off even positive people as nasty cranks to be avoided. Have fun with this! It is amazing how much we can affect their view of reality. I have made beautiful young girls feel like they are fat and ugly simply by channeling what they pay attention to and what they remember. I get so excited thinking about this.

    It is also easy to exploit the fact that these rodents have a constant need to label others and form opinions of each other. What is so enticing about this is that they hardly every form these opinions carefully or objectively. Fortunately for us, once these opinions are formed they are rarely questioned, and humans don’t often see the need to do so, because they only see things that reinforce their judgments and ignore the things that don’t fit. For example, in my care, I had a husband who was married to an obnoxiously sweet little gal. My subject was a lazy lout who didn’t take the initiative in helping around the house, so consequently his wife often asked for help. I don’t mean to brag, but I took this situation and turned it into something ugly. Every time the wife would ask for help, I would whisper in his ear, “What a nag! She is so selfish; she doesn’t even appreciate what you do.” I’m not the giggly type, but I had to laugh when he took the bait! It was hilarious: Here was this lazy slob with a sweet hard working wife who treated him like a king, but once I colored his perception, all he noticed were the times she asked for help. He didn’t notice when she thanked him or all the ways that she served him. In his eyes, he was the overworked slave and she was the spoiled wife. Let me tell you, it was a thing of beauty!

    Don’t miss this golden opportunity! Make sure you stay alert for ways to warp your human’s perception. You will be amazed at how easy it is. A few choice words whispered in their ears and you can get them to see whatever you want them to see. On a side note, this is one of the chief ways you can keep these rats away from God. Tell them that He is oppressive and demanding, and soon that’s all they will see.

    Again, the potential in this area is endless. Tell your human that life has been unfair to them and reinforce this idea by only pointing out their hardships and other people who have it better. Get them to ignore all the good things in their life or those who have it worse.

    Finally, develop in your victim a strong trust in his own perception; try to prevent him from questioning it. The more confident he is in his own abilities to perceive things accurately, the easier it will be to create false perceptions.

    Expression

    The second aspect of communication is the expression, or the sending of the message. These humans have come up with so many different ways of getting their message across that it’s hilarious, and they still can’t communicate. Their problem is that they’re not mind readers, so they’re forced to come up with symbols and codes to send verbal and nonverbal messages. They have a complicated system of words and sounds, to go along with gestures, facial expressions, and body languages. They each use words in slightly different ways. This is where the real breakdown often occurs – when the receiver assigns different meanings to symbols and codes than the sender intended. But where it gets even worse is the varied and complex ways they use body language and tone of voice. For one person using a loud tone of voice means only that he is excited, but for someone else, a loud tone means he is angry.

    What is so ironic and a huge boon to us is that even though these varmints have a hard time understanding other people, they expect everyone else to understand exactly what they mean and they get impatient when they are misunderstood. Words, gestures, and tone don’t have the universal meaning humans often think they do. They don’t need much help from us in this department; they mess things up just fine without us. But on top of the fact that humans have trouble saying what they mean, they also say things they don’t mean. And this is where we can be very helpful.

    Here are some ways you can complicate things. Tempt them to be dishonest and stretch the truth in ways that will benefit themselves. Humans have a huge need to have their ego stroked and to look good. They also have a strong fear of rejection and appearing stupid or unattractive, which makes them very reluctant to open up. Keep these feeling of insecurity strong. As long as they don’t open up, other people won’t know how they really feel and won’t be able to offer help. While I love to work with a blabbermouth as much as the next demon does, I also love the silent types. These creatures talk a lot about how much damage can be done by talking too much, but what few seem to realize is how valuable to our cause silence can be, as well. Words can do great damage, but words can also bring great healing. When people don’t talk, it leaves the situation wide open for us to play with their perceptions, and in the silence, grossly inaccurate assessments and judgments can be formed. Yes, silence is golden!

    To make the most of this second component, influence your subject to focus more on self-expression rather than to think about how their message is coming across. A point that humans thankfully are very slow to get is this: No matter how eloquent they are, the only thing that gets communicated is what the other person receives and understands.

    Understanding

    This brings us to the final part of communication, the understanding, or receiving. For whatever reason, humans have real trouble listening. And we can make it worse. This is an area where you can really shine. One of our biggest weapons has always been distraction. Now there are all sorts of natural distractions that prevent the message from getting across, things like noises, smells, or even headaches, exhaustion, or sickness. But the best kinds of distractions are mental distractions and two of the most effective are pride and insecurity. Stroke your victim’s pride; make him feel like he is an expert in understanding. This will cause him to assume he knows what a person is going to say before they actually say it, and will prevent him from hearing what the other person actually said. If that doesn’t work, increase your victim’s sense of insecurity. This will make him defensive. When a human is on the defensive, it is very difficult for him to hear what the other person is saying because he is so busy forming a defense and justifying himself.

    Since humans listen so poorly when they are in self-defense mode, take advantage of this and encourage your subject to phrase things in such a way that will trigger defensiveness. When you can get these humans to use terms like “always” or “never”, the other person – rather than listening and trying to understand what the other person is saying – begins to think about exceptions to the rule. For example, I had a man who had a bad habit of being late for supper. The wife was so frustrated that one night she blew up and accused him of be always being late for supper. The man got defensive, said it wasn’t true. (He had been on time once the week before.) She got hurt because she felt like he was calling her a liar.  The simple fact that she worded it “always” instead of “often” led to a beautiful mess. If she had said “often”, he would have been forced to admit responsibility and they would have been more likely to work things out, but because of that simple hyperbole, I sabotaged the conversation before it got off the ground.

    In a similar way, get your victims to make accusatory “you” statements instead of “I” statements. Make sure you take note of this crucial point. It is a simple thing, but the results are so impressive. When a person starts out a conversation with you-statements such as “You are so stingy” or “You are so critical”, these are statements of judgment that make the other person become defensive and cause him to be closed to the convicting evidence, which is exactly what we want. What we don’t want is for the person to bring up the subject with an “I” statement. When a person says “I saw it this way,” Or “this is how it seemed to me,” this changes the focus in the wording and forces the second person to look at the situation from the first person’s point of view. This is a simple result, but it can be devastating to our strategy. Couples who learn to speak of their perceptions rather than make bold fact statements, and who learn to see things from each other’s point of view, become so much harder to sabotage.

    In conclusion, I want to point out that the most important factor for causing communication breakdown is to encourage both parties to be preoccupied with themselves and their point of view.  As long as both parties are trying first and foremost to be understood, they will never understand each other, and your job will be easy. Of course if these humans make their focus listening and understanding, they may become impervious to even our best efforts. I pray that day never comes.

     Ghost written by Jesse Jost

     

     

     

     

Saturday, 06 June 2009

  • tour update #6

    So when I left off we were en route to Geary, New Brunswick.

    Wow, what a place! We encountered in Geary that much-talked-about warm friendliness of the Maritimers. A couple (Mark and Pat) from the Geary church opened up the apartment off their house for us to stay two nights. Mark was there to meet us and show us the beautiful little apartment with a full kitchen and bathroom, bedroom and a living room. His wife Pat had stocked the fridge and cupboards with all sorts of things for us to use for snacks and breakfasts. Jesse helped his family set up sound equipment down the road at the church while I had a nap. Mark served us a wonderful roast pork dinner with New Brunswick’s delicacy, fiddlehead ferns. They look like curled up green caterpillars, and taste a little like spinach. I really liked them, once I got over how they looked.

    Dad and Mom had a riot with Pastor Greg and Rachel Sparks and their family. Our  Sunday morning concert (May 24) was filled with a lot of laughter, and aliveness. That church was so responsive and enthusiastic – they just welcomed us in and made us family. Mom’s slip of the tongue which we will not explain but which generated so much laughter, made things take a little while to pick up and go on. We went to the Sparks after the service for a BBQ with them and Josts and other church folks. Jesse and I went back to our wonderful little place to take a nap.

    At 4:30 we went over to the church again, where people were setting up for a dinner for the community graduates (h.s., college, university) and their families – a sort of outreach thing. A number of un-churched folks came. Jesse gave a short message on being sure we know the real God. It was so powerful!

    After the dinner, Josts gave an evening concert at the church. Partway through, the youth were dismissed to the gym where Jesse and I got them started on a Jeopardy-style trivia game of questions about romances from the Bible, history, myth, and movies. Then Jesse earnestly shared with the young people (ages 12 to early 20s) about staying pure for their future spouse and God’s design for romantic relationships.

    The next morning (May 25) after another deluxe breakfast at Mark and Pat’s apartment, we said goodbye and headed down the road, trying to absorb the exciting reality that we were going to see Prince Edward Island that day! We stopped at Magnetic Hill on the way, the Josts piling out of their van to watch us drive our minivan to the “bottom” of the hill, put the van in neutral, turn off the engine and let it roll back “up” to the top of the hill. It’s a visual illusion. Because of the way the hill is angled, it looks as if the actual base of the hill is higher than the actual top. Okay, so you’re confused. It was one of those cool “you had to be there” things. Apparently Magnetic Hill is third most visited natural attraction in Canada.  We were going to stop at the Shediac waterfront, but were running out of time, so we crossed the Confederation bridge and were on THE island. The first stretch of driving didn’t show any particularly utopian countryside – a potato factory, houses (several rundown or abandoned), and many red fields being gotten ready for potato seeding. PEI provides 1/3 of the potatoes that Canada produces.

    Jesse filled up with gas just off the bridge – we covered 470 k on that tank traversing the island. Did a total of 600 k. (that includes the kilometers covered after getting lost on our way back after concert later). We arrived at the Woods’ family’s place around suppertime and made introductions. Josts met the Woods at our concert in B.C., and stayed in contact with them after they moved across the country to PEI. They have such a gorgeous place – a maple wood out back, several large buildings that used to be used as a camp, a cottage (they would like to eventually open it up for people to stay in), and fields and garden plots  out front, flanking their tree-lined driveway. To me, it seemed like the ideal island place – very picturesque with the white dormered farmhouse and green lawn spreading to the trees.

    We had amazing lasagna and homemade whole wheat bread and salad for supper. I was sick and tired and went to bed very early. I’ve had an ongoing sore throat and occasional congested sinuses for over 2 weeks now – not sure if it’s a reaction to pollens out here, or to the different kinds of water we’ve been drinking, or just a lowered immune system because I’m pregnant. At any rate, it was sure nice to just crash and rest. The guys went out and played ultimate Frisbee till it was too dark to see, then came back in and had apple crisp and ice cream. Jesse couldn’t get over how thick the oxygen was – it was impossible to get winded while running around after the Frisbee.

    We woke up to a hearty farm breakfast (May 26), had a short tour of place, and headed out to see PEI, starting with Summerside. We listened to the same top three news stories several times as we drove that day: islanders fighting the closing of 11 small schools, the 2nd Charlottetown restaurant to burn down in a week, and Charlottetown officials trying to figure out way to deal with increased graffiti. Definitely not the Avonlea feel of Montgomery’s books. Besides the news stories, we got to enjoy some great Acadian music. At least the instruments and sound of the songs was great – we didn’t understand the French.

    We stopped for lunch, and went on up to Cabot Beach, a craggy beachfront on the north shore, with red cliffs and rock that went out into the water. Judah got farther into the waves than anyone else and drenched his pants, but he didn’t mind at all. He and the other kids were delighted to bits with this new experience; it was so fun watching them pick up shells and walk in the pools of water that lay in crevices of the rocks. Continuing on, we toured the Campbell home, where Montgomery penned the first paragraphs of Anne of Green Gables, followed by seven novels. It was also the home where she got married. I was fascinated to see the place where she wrote – something that interests the writer in me. Went on to Cavendish (the “Avonlea” of Montgomery’s books), where I discovered that Anne’s Green Gables had a B&B and Avonlea had a golf course and Ripley’s Believe it or Not gallery, and a wax museum, to boot.

    Saw quite a few for sale signs as we drove. When the Wood family was looking to move out of B.C., they found that the cheapest property all across Canada was on PEI. We also saw a lot of farmers putting in potatoes. Passed slow-moving farm equipment on the roads. High levels of iron oxide causes the red color of the soil, sand and rock. So, in other words that red color is actually rust and will stain your clothes. The soil needs lime added and about 2-3 ton of fertilizer/acre for potato crops.  We arrived at the Robinson family’s farm for a turkey dinner prepared by their girls Jillian, Janace, and Nancy. Robert and Laura both lost their spouses to cancer years ago; they have been married now for over 8 years and have thirteen kids (6 hers, 3 his, and 4 theirs together). Heard their “Yours, Mine, and Ours” story over supper – what it was like for them to lose their spouses, to meet each other, and to adjust to a blended family. They generously opened up to us the extra house on their property that they’d fixed up as a sort of cottage. We stayed there 3 nights.

    J-M was not used to Atlantic time zone and started out waking up before 8, so we had an early start heading down the road to see as much of the island as possible (May 27). Went to Greenwich beach, where Josts joined us around noon. Long stretch of white sand on the north shore, with seagrass-topped sand hills. I’d call ‘em dunes, but I don’t know if they qualified for that. Seems that dunes are environmentally sensitive areas and very protected from traffic. These hills weren’t.

    J-M cried angrily when a wave knocked him off his feet and soaked his bum. But he spanked the water with a piece of driftwood, and decided he liked the sand between his toes after all, and wound up running all up and down the beach with just a diaper and T-shirt (the wet jeans weren’t keeping him warm, so they came off). He did leapfrogging around with Judah, and threw sand in the air, and liked the seaweed with bladder pockets that he could squeeze.

    We were starving by early afternoon, so we got salmon filet and lobster at a fish and chips place down the road. Jesse liked the lobster, but was kind of weirded out by the creature’s boiled little eyeballs staring at him while he picked all the yummy meat off its carcass. (I sure know how to make food sound mouth-watering.) We drove down to the Squeaking Sands – poetically named the “Singing” Sands by people who are more interested in attracting tourists than in being accurate. The white sand actually did squeak a little under my feet. We took a nap there. Then we hurried as fast as we could down to to Charlottetown.

    Our concert was given at a Reformed church in Charlottetown to a group of mostly home schoolers. The Skye family was also there – they run a B&B near “Green Gables” and share their own music and step-dancing on tours in Canada and the States. PEI has the highest number of places of accommodation per capita than anywhere else in Canada. Just driving down your average island road, you’ll encounter at every intersection a bunch of signs noting the B&Bs/cottages or other attractions. There’s always lots to read when you come to a crossroads… but we discovered that where B&B signs abounded, the plain road number signs were either missing or could only be seen once you’d driven past the turn-off you wanted… Which leads me to the episode of our late-night “tour” we took on our way back to Robinsons’ place when the concert was over. Even though we were going by the letter of the map, we still took a wrong turn and made a 25 minute drive into an hour long drive. I told Jesse that I liked to see the island countryside, but preferably in daylight.

    Laura Robinson came over the next morning (May 28), saying that the lobster boats were just coming into nearby Savage Harbor and would we be interested in going down there with her to see the boats while she got some fresh lobster to boil up for supper? We all hurried down to the harbor, where we got to watch the last lobster-man (I don’t know if they call themselves fisher-men) tie up his boat and hoist his tubs of squirming critters onto the dock. His first mate was a redhead who’d spent all his life on the island, and said he’d probably hang around PEI for quite a while. We learned we had arrived on PEI right at the start of lobster season – licenses to harvest the animals are only available from the end of May to the end of June.

    The little Robinson boys and Judah ran around the wharf wiggling discarded lobster legs at each other. Judah’s lobster leg went along with him in the van, until he dropped it out the window on my foot by accident.   

    After we got a much-needed oil change at Walmart, and made a couple other stops, we went to the confederation hall. Fascinating time tunnel of the history of Canada’s confederation; we both learned a lot.

     

    Went back to Robinsons’ where they’d put a pot of water to boil out in their yard, and had the kids throw the lobster in to boil up to a nice red color. Red abounds on the island, it seems. Then Jillian Robinson brought out a birthday cake with lit candles for Mom (whose birthday was the next day) and we all sang happy birthday around the boiling pot. Dad and Mom came in the house to try some fresh hot lobster before they left to go out to dinner (another pre-birthday celebration for Mom). Laura and her daughters had fixed an amazing spread of salads to go with the lobster, and after they showed us how to get the meat off, we all dug in. The lobster was so good, fresh and sweet. J-M couldn’t eat it fast enough; he was begging for more before he’d finished the bite in his mouth. He really, really loved it.

    Around 8:30, we took Amy, Hannah and Judah back to our house while the older ones stayed at Robinsons for a bonfire and more visiting. Jesse and I cooked macaroni and watched Happy Feet with the little guys. Mom and Dad got back from their dinner outing around 10:30. To be continued…

    In the next update - A ferry ride to Nova Scotia, visits to Citadel Hill, Peggy's Cove, the Maritime Museum, more concert updates, the Boston experience, Heidi meets Louisa May Alcott, and much more!

Sunday, 24 May 2009

  • tour update #5

                On May 15 we said goodbye to the Hounsomes - that’s about 364 goodbyes among all the family members - and headed south with many memories of their at-home hospitality to us. Arriving in the Amish and Mennonite town of Aylmer, we noticed a horse and buggy tied to a hitching post at the side of a grocery store… with a semi truck unloading a shipment beyond it. A shovel leaned against the hitching post. I’m sure glad we don’t have to pick up after our vehicle.
                We spent time relaxing at a park with Josts, the boys playing tennis with their new rackets, and the kids monkeying around on the swings and slides. Then we went over to the Elgin Complex and the guys set up the sound equipment. A native Christian, Tom Longboat, shared some gospel songs before we began our concert. During the short intermission, we grabbed the chance to hug our dear Elizabeth (Fehr) Heikoop and visit with her and Nelly Heikoop. It sure was great to see them! Liz looks so good – one more month of pregnancy to go.
                We relished a yummy late supper at the Peters’ home after the concert. They have nine children; their oldest, Janet, was browsing online and found our family’s website last year, which is how we ended up in Aylmer. The Peters are all involved in their home businesses of making and selling noodles and the best tortillas we’ve ever had, and raising certified organic asparagus for sale. After a restful sleep in Peters’ spacious travel trailer, Jesse and I went with everyone else on a driving tour to see some Amish farms, stop at an Amish furniture store, and check out hand-stitched quilts at an Amish home. We also split up into smaller groups to tour Mrs. Peter’s brother’s little tortilla shop – amazing what quantities of goods they produce in that place! – and snacked on fresh tamales outside afterward. Too spicy for J-M, but his parents loved ‘em and went back to buy more.
                In the afternoon, some of the Josts helped the Peters grade a day’s picking of asparagus, and then hopped on a piece of machinery to go pick more asparagus. The “pickers” sat four or five in a row with their feet up on footrests that just skimmed the ground. A canvas covering to block rain and heat showed only their legs and feet. A seat and controls up behind the “pickers” allowed Mr. Peters to drive the machinery down the field. Very interesting to watch, but hard to describe.
                The next morning (May 17) we hurried through breakfast and followed the Peters to Virgil, where they’d arranged for us to give a concert for many of their relatives of who lived in that area. A number of other folks came too, and the room was full by the time we got up to sing. We enjoyed seeing all the families, as well as the senior citizens (who resided at the place where our concert was held). About 35 children sat on the floor up front. We added an extra song “How Long Will You Falter?” (the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel) for them. Jesse and I were encouraged afterward by visits with various people. The Peters’ family had prepared a light supper for us and them, so we sat down to eat and talk several hours after the concert was over. Thanks to Peters’ generosity, we stayed night in the four guestrooms at the senior citizens’ building. It was great to have an afternoon concert and then relax in our room for the evening. I think the Peters and Josts went bowling at a small alley close by.
                Victoria Day dawned warm and sunny. All the way through Niagara-on-the-Lake to the Falls, we hung out the windows and stared at the beauty of the land and river. Very cool to come down to the Falls from the north. Of course the waterfront by the Falls was crawling with people, and free parking was only available way down the road. Enough with feeling claustrophobic. We headed back toward Niagara-on-the-Lake and found a picnic area with a fabulous view of the river flowing from Lake Ontario. There was a “fabulous” steep drop-off just beyond our picnic table, so we carefully watched J-M’s roamings. He wandered around, clutching a peanut butter sandwich in one hand and keeping his other hand behind his back. We moved on to a parking area near a walking path, and I napped while Jesse took J-M for a long walk.
                We arrived late afternoon at Scott and Tereasa Mansfield’s home. Scott is dean of students at a Christian high school, so they put us up overnight in the unused basement of the boys’ dorm. Scott and Tereasa have such big hearts – a lot of wisdom and love to offer. They have adopted two African-American children, whose big brother, Gabriel, (S &T’s biological son) is very mature for his eight years. Jesse was quite impressed with Gabriel’s knowledge of baseball and especially Blue Jays players.
                Everyone went out after supper to roast marshmallows in an outdoor fireplace. While we put s’mores together with sticky fingers, Tereasa shared the amazing story of their kids’ adoptions and how their little Abby was healed from some serious neurological/brain problems simply through the love Mansfields showed her. Someday I’d love to put that incredible story down in writing and share it through Hearts at Home. Anyway, after singing and prayer, we headed off to showers and bed. That was our last internet access until now; it’s been pretty spotty lately.
                The next morning (May 19) we had egg burritos and left early for Montreal. We were so thankful for Dad’s GPS (nicknamed “Maggie”) that navigated us through the Rues and Chemins and Boulevards all the way to Deux Montagnes (Two Mountains), a largely English-speaking community just outside Montreal. We brought in luggage and bedding to settle into the basement of the People’s Church. When we went to get groceries, Jesse had a fleeting thought at the till that maybe they wouldn’t take our Canadian currency – the feeling of being in another country was so strong.
    Mom whipped up a chicken spaghetti dish in the church’s small kitchen, while I made our usual rice-chicken/tuna-mushrm. soup concoction. (Jesse, I love those kitchen knives you bought me for Mothers’ Day!) Mom’s culinary skills are just as awesome on the road as at home… she always adds special touches to things to make it gourmet… like the warm rotisserie chicken with fresh basil on whole wheat French bread that she made for lunch earlier that day. For the first time on tour, we sat down to a meal of just-Josties. Lots of laughter and teasing and talking about what’s happened so far.  
    It was awfully nice to wake up leisurely the following morning (May 20) and not have to hurry off anywhere. The morning was rainy, so the kids and J-M played inside (every church has a new batch of toys to discover!) while I cleaned the van, the guys set up sound equipment, and Mom and Emily went to do laundry at Christine’s house. Now that’s another good God-story: Josts knew only two families in Quebec, one of them being Christine and her boys. It “happened” that Dad got a contact through Derek McDonald for the People’s Church in Deux Montagnes about a concert, and then we found out that Christine attended this same little church! Dad and Mom met Christine and her former husband, Claude, (longtime friends of the Roberts) at James and Heather Fehr’s wedding. Christine sat with us during breakfast and caught us up on her life over the past several years. That is my favorite thing about tour – hearing people’s stories about what they’ve experienced and what God has done in their lives. I wish I could just spend this whole time sharing those story-testimonies.
    I just got an email from Kevin, a guy I met at a concert a few weeks ago. He asked me to pray for his 10yr old step-daughter, whose biological father committed suicide before she was born. Kevin read my book and said it really impacted him, both in his own grief over his mother's recent death and also in understanding the issues surrounding suicide and its effects on ppl like his step-daughter. At the Deux Montagnes People’s Church concert (I’m jumping ahead in time here), a woman came to me and thanked me for what I shared. She said her 22-yr old son was going to attempt taking his life by jumping off a 3-story building just last week. He is in a psychiatric ward right now. I cannot imagine what she must feel, the fear for her son, and that mother-protectiveness combined with a realization that he must and will make his own choices. She said she felt somewhat better after hearing my story and recognizing that though she can still influence her son and though she loves him so deeply, she does not need to carry the burden of responsibility for what he does.
                In the afternoon, Amy-Joy heated up leftovers for the family; Mom and Emily weren’t back yet from laundry-doing. Jesse, Jeremiah, Joel, and Joey went to play tennis. J-M and I went down for a nap. Later, Emily and I went for a walk; I really enjoy time with Emz. She’s an incredible girl! We got back to the church to discover that Mom sliced the top of her left first finger (with my brand-new Mother’s Day-gift knife) while she was chopping vegetables for supper. It was a nasty cut, and made it difficult for her to feel out the frets on her guitar and mandolin.
                My body and spirit felt weary before the evening concert, but with everyone else, I just kept praying that God would make us empty vessels that He could fill and overflow into the lives of those who came to hear us sing. I just sat there and soaked up the messages of each song, and was really refreshed by truth, once again. Maybe there was spiritual battle going on that night. I don’t know. But I do know that at the end of the concert, I came away filled up with God’s goodness. Afterward I talked to a woman (originally from Wisconsin) whose family has been doing mission work among the Francophones in Montreal for 20 years. She said she, too, had been encouraged by the truth in Josts’ songs; it reminded her, she told me, of the Scriptures she listened to while staying in the hospital with her 2-year-old daughter who was receiving lymphoma chemo treatments.
                After finishing our sugar-free ice cream and getting some sleep, we did speed packing and cleaning and got out of the church just after nine. That’s quite a feat, considering how many air mattresses had to be deflated and carried out with sleeping bags and suitcases.  Our caravan headed east for Quebec City on what promised (and made good on its promise) to be a swelteringly hot day.
                Experiencing Quebec was different than I expected – better and more positive, I guess you’d say. I'd heard a few comments about how unbendingly French the Quebecois are. But a couple of natives I talked to along the way were apologetic about their lack of English, believe it or not! I felt like I was the one who should be apologizing for my shocking lack of French. I mumbled a few merci's and bonjour's and pardon's to be “all things to all men”, but always found someone who knew a little English (except for one person who knew none).  There are 7 million Francophones in Quebec. Their French radio and television programs have very high ratings; the province is happy with their own programs, and not particularly interested (judging by the ratings) in American or other Canadian shows.
                It felt odd, being in Canada, but not really. Quebec is essentially its own country, like I said before, and it carries a strong identity that is unique from the rest of Canada and definitely not like America. Many towns have at least one church spire rising above the houses, which gives a European flavor. Hearing French everywhere sounds so strange - and also so classy. English seems clumsy in comparison. But at least it is not all spoken in the nose! John-Michael definitely fits into this culture - he speaks a different language, and his name fits right in with everyone else's. =) In one day I met three people who said they were related to someone named John-Michael. Till now, the name seemed pretty rare.
                It was kind of stressful getting through what seemed to be the heart of Quebec City – it was, at any rate, a congested part of the heart. Jesse did a good job staying close behind Dad. We found parking right by the St. Lawrence River, and rushed to find a toilette. I had a sore throat/cold and felt utterly bleh. Even the narrow cobblestone streets and stone houses didn’t rouse much thrill in me. Usually they do. Quebec City is the only walled city north of Mexico, we were told by a tour guide. It was quite a walk up to the old city walls. We went through the excavated ruins of the St. Louis Chateau, the residence of the first governor generals of Quebec. Coming up out of the ruins into the hot sun, we found a bench along a boardwalk, and got some hot dogs and frozen yogurt. We watched people walk by and looked up at the green steep rise to the Fields of Abraham battlefield close by. A self-described artist came by with a clipboard and sketch paper and in broken English, asked if we’d like him to do a drawing of any of us (with a “magical” personalized poem included), for half-price of $20. Dad and Mom sat for him, while the kids crowded around and watched him whip up a caricature with a Sharpie marker. It wasn’t as magical as he said, but we got a kick out of the novel experience.
                I felt better after the long rest on the boardwalk bench. We tackled the climb up the hillside to the stone walls and cannon forming the boundary around the battlefield. It was too long a walk to the main gate for a tour, and we were running out of paid parking time for our vehicles, so we enjoyed the hilltop view of the city and St. Lawrence River, then headed back down to the parking lot.
                After about ½ hour’s drive, we arrived in Lévis, just beyond Quebec City. Dad gave us directions as we went so we knew when to anticipate the next turn-off or lane change (it makes caravanning a lot easier). We laughed when he pronounced Hochelaga street as “hot-chick-a-la-la.” None of us majored in French pronunciation - we’ll be the first to admit it. An Alliance church in Lévis allowed us to stay the night in their spacious building. I had been praying that somehow, miraculously, the church would have a shower; it’d been a hot, sticky day and I needed a refreshing shower. Voila – there was one! I was so thankful.
                Jesse made his fabulous, to-die-for stroganoff (took us awhile to find the grocery store and get the stuff, so we had a late supper), which we shared with Josiah, who was also craving pasta. The others had a variety of food for supper. I had my much-craved shower… ahhhhh…. and went to bed. We bunked down in the nursery.
                Yesterday (May 22) we had a relaxing morning and entered the Atlantic time zone by late afternoon, passing from Quebec to New Brunswick. That's a first for me.
                We saw a lot of the St. Lawrence River, since the highway followed it for awhile. Tonight we are staying close to the border of Maine. New Brunswick is Canada's only officially bilingual province; it's great to be able to read signs again - everything is in English as well as French. The country is beautiful, many rolling wooded hills, and lots of farmland. 
                Today we go to Geary, a small town outside Fredericton, and meet our billets. Tomorrow is a long, eventful day.
                Signing off, Heidi.

Friday, 15 May 2009

  • 09 Tour Update #4

     

     

    Thursday, May 14.

    Tuesday morning on the fifth of May, Heidi and I grabbed a quick bite for breakfast and headed for Toronto. We arrived at the outskirts of the huge metropolis around 10 am. We spent some time eating frozen yogurt and browsing a mall, then we packed J-M, back-pack, and stroller to the subway; kind of awkward, but we made it work. J-M was fascinated by the experience in the “choo-choo.” The weather was cool as we briskly strolled through the mass of humanity. I settled in my seat at the Roger’s Center located in the upper deck behind home plate. This was my fourth Blue Jay game and I was hoping to finally see them actually win a game. Heidi took J-M to see his Jostie buddies who were on the same level, but over by third base. The stadium was filled with school groups who were taking advantage of this afternoon contest with the Cleveland Indians. Pitching for the Blue Jays was 22 year old Brett Cecil, who was making his Major League debut. He struck out the first batter he faced then got out of the inning only allowing a couple hits. The Indians scored a couple of runs in the second after the Jays bobbled the ball a couple times. Toronto trailed 2-1 going into the sixth when they scored a couple runs to take a 3-2 lead. Cecil pitched six strong innings and struck out six. In the seventh, the Jays’ bullpen was torched for 4 runs and a 6-3 lead. It looked like I was going to have to wait to see that win! However, turnabout is fair play and the Jays broke loose scoring 7 runs in the home half of the inning, including back-to-back homers by Lind and Rolen. The Jays went on to win 10-4.

    After the game Heidi and I wanted to hang around Toronto till after rush hour traffic so we looked for a restaurant. I grew up hearing Tom Cheek (the late radio voice for the Blue Jays) talk about “Alice Fazooli’s Italian Grill” and always wondered what the food was like. Well, that night I got the chance to find out. It was a very classy place that left me feeling very underclass. When I asked the waiter if it was OK if we could order just the appetizer first, she told me “yes, that’s what is usually done.” Not by us, it’s not! The food, however, was delicious and reasonably priced. We had bruschetta on toast followed by chicken parmagiana. We rode the subway back to the mall and made it back to Hounsomes by 10sh. By the evening, my throat was very sore and generally feeling lousy. All I had to do was blog how healthy we’ve been and the next thing you know, it comes back to bite me in the throat.

    Wednesday we packed a hot lunch and ate it by the lake in Barrie. We dipped down to the outlet mall in Cookstown (15 mins south of Barrie) to shop for shoes for me. We grabbed a bland Chinese dish to eat from the mall food court (which consists of a pizza place, a sandwich-burger-and-fries joint, and a Chinese food place - and all three are run by a little Asian couple that run back and forth between the fronts). We headed back to Barrie where we had a concert at a retirement center but was attended by more families than by seniors.

    Thursday’s highlights include going into Orillia with Joey to check out the Goodwill thrift store 50% off sale. We stopped at Wal-Mart and Subway. The subs we had at a park just outside of Orillia.

    Friday was the beginning of the Above Rubies Retreat. In the afternoon, Heidi and I made the 50 min drive to Bala (which was just a few minutes from the camp). I dropped off Heidi and J-M at a park and went into town to get some fish and chips for supper, which we had at the park (Heidi: Sorry, Ash, we got your note afterward, but didn’t regret one single bite of the potentially toxic stuff). At the camp Hounsomes opened the first session with a couple songs. Nancy Campbell was supposed to speak from 7-8 but she must have forgotten her watch, because she spoke until 8:30. As a result of this, we had to shorten our concert to a little over an hour. Mom and Emily and Mrs. Hounsome and Zoe stayed at the retreat while every one else came back here.

    On Saturday Amy-Joy and the rest of the little girls made soup for lunch. Heidi and I went into Orillia and did a little shopping, then we parked the van in the rain beside the tennis courts and relaxed for a bit. J-M enjoyed some exclusive mommy and daddy time.

    Late Sunday morning, my family went to the camp to pick up Mom and Emily. Heidi and I went on to Huntsville, arriving just ahead of them. The Strongmans served us a roast beef dinner with a choice of four kinds of pie dessert. The Strongmans have 8 children: 3 daughters in their 20s, two sons 19, and 18, then three more girls. They took us to a rink where we played some intense ball hockey. That night we did sang before a packed church, including our good friends Jim and Marilyn and Derek McDonald. We came back to Hounsomes, stopping at Timmie’s to get a bagel with cream cheese for Heidi’s pregnant tummy and a tea for my sore throat.

    On Monday Heidi and I went to Springwater Provincial Park, where we ate our new favorite el cheapo picnic hot meal: seasoned rice, tuna, cream of mushroom soup, some bran, and a little garlic all mixed together. We explored the beautiful park. J-M especially enjoyed the wildlife animal compound, which included wolves and a black bear. The bear was J-M’s favorite. We took J-M to a playground where we basked in the sun, each enjoying our books (mine was “Making Peace with a Dangerous God” and Heidi’s was a biographical novel about the Brontës). After taking a nap in the van, we again visited the animals and explored more of the park before returning to Hounsomes. The guys served up a deluxe meal to the older young people and the adults: barbecued steaks, sautéed mushrooms, two pasta dishes, a salad, and garlic bread. They’d bought most of the meal ingredients, with Dad and Mom pitching in with some steaks, burgers and pasta for the kids.

    Tuesday morning I played several games of tennis with Jeremiah at a court just down the road. In the afternoon we drove down to New Market. We stopped at the outlet mall in Cookstown where I bought a pair of Adidas running shoes. We ate supper at the food court in a Newmarket mall. Boy, was that different from the Cookstown food court! This place had a Baskin and Robbins, a Thai place, two Japanese spots, Korean food, Italian food, Middle Eastern, Greek, Chinese, an A & W, a Subway and they even had the Canadian food covered with a Tim Horton’s. I had some excellent Thai food while Heidi had souvlaki and Greek salad. The concert that night went well despite the fact that several of us are still fighting sore throat and sinus issues (pun intended). I still have quite a sore throat; I can’t remember the last time it hung on so long.

    A large group of people who used to form the musical band “The Forget-Me-Nots” came to our concert that night and were so encouraging to us. They’re very specific in their affirmation, and said that we sounded much tighter as a group. One of the main guitar players of their group saw the Larrivee guitar Mom had been given earlier on tour, and asked how they’d managed to acquire such an expensive guitar. He said, “Did you rob a bank?”

                We made the 1.5 hr. drive back to Hounsomes and went straight to bed after snatching some free bathroom time before the others returned. Everyone else had a late snack when they arrived.

                Yesterday (Wednesday) we went back into Orillia to pick up some stuff for the road, and got some tennis rackets so we and Josts could take advantage of whatever courts we come across in the month ahead. We came back and joined a bunch of Hounsomes and Josts at the tennis courts; Heidi and the little kids went on a walk while Jesse got in on a tennis match. Jim and Marilyn and Derek McDonald arrived here for a turkey dinner. It was great to catch up on the happenings in their lives, and to see God working in and through them.

                In the evening, I went to the tennis courts with the young people and we played a barbaric game of dodgeball tennis. It was a blast getting a chance to huck tennis balls at people as hard as I could. We came back and listened to a presentation by Andrew, a friend of Derek’s, about what God is doing in Ecuador.

                This brings us to today. We packed up, organized the van, went for a walk, took a nap – all the stuff you’re just dying to know about. Now I have to go take advantage of the shower, because shower access will be scarce the next few days. Tomorrow we leave Hounsomes and head south. The Hounsome family has been so incredible; they have shown us lavish hospitality and generosity with out a word of complaint. It has been so nice to have a home base and not have to haul all our luggage in and out each day. I pray God richly blesses them!

                P.S. I joined Twitter today. There is not much there yet but you can follow us at www.twitter.com/JesseJost

Monday, 04 May 2009

  • On the day that we were going to leave Winnipeg, (Monday, April 27) Judy Ford told Heidi and me to make sure we came by her house before we left, said she had a surprise. When I walked through the door I was introduced to her “surprise” - Steve (and his wife Jackie) Masterson, who gave marriage counseling to Mom and Dad in college and has since gone on to be the president of Promise Keepers Canada. Over breakfast, Steve refreshed our spirits and inspired us by relaying stories of what God has been doing lately through the Canadian version of Promise Keepers (separate from PK USA). It was so thrilling to hear of men being set free from the strongholds of lust and pornography, and embracing true biblical manhood. Around 10:30AM we said our good-byes and escaped unscathed from Winnipeg’s evil road structure on our way to Thunder Bay.

    After listening to hours of Odyssey and taking turns driving and keeping our active two-year old mostly entertained, we arrived at our Super 8 motel around 8:30 EST. Heidi brought along a hot pot and cooked up some rice, tuna, and cream of mushroom soup. Delicious. Well after midnight, John-Michael was still restless and challenged me to a wrestling match. I obliterated him.

    The next morning we hit Value Village for some new shoes for JM and some reading material. We went the northern route to Timmins (Hwy 11) and found it to be much straighter and faster then the southern route we had taken the last two years (Hwy 17). Amy and Hannah took turns riding with us for the last three hours to keep a tightly wound JM from unraveling. We pulled into Morrisettes at 9:30. They served us some delicious soup and bread and nachos. Heidi and I went to stay at Ollilas. Wednesday morning we all gathered at Morrisettes for crepes, fruits, whip cream, Finnish coffee cake and sausage. Heidi then went for a walk with the ladies while I played Joey crokinole (ask him the score) and read some more riveting chapters from a book about the 1996 Mt. Everest disaster. 

    Mrs. Morrisette served us three kinds of lasagna for an early supper, then we all went over the school for the concert. It was the same heart felt, spirit filled, moving concert that we have come to expect. It is amazing to see the way my family remains so dependent on God even as these songs become second nature.

    Thursday morning I got up early and took the van to a mechanic. I thought it needed new shocks or struts as it was making a creaking sound whenever we bounced over a pothole or bump in the road. It turns out all that was wrong was a worn stabilizer bar bushing. The mechanic checked out the tie-rod ends and ball joints and shocks and every thing else was fine. That was a huge relief. We packed up at Ollilas and came back to Morrisettes where my family was visiting with Hemmerlings, another traveling singing family called “Canada’s Double Portion.” We passed around hundreds of good byes and began the two hour drive to Charleton. We all stayed at Jim and Judy Minnett. They served us homemade pizza then took us to a children’s ministry meeting. Heidi and I had a romantic walk in the rain, laughing about all sorts of things that I can’t put in a public post.

    Friday morning Jim took us to a fish hatchery where we learned how to make baby fishes. You squeeze a plump mommy fish into bucket, then you squeeze out a big daddy fish in there, then you add water and stir. Pick out all the white eggs as they are now dead, and pretty soon you will have thousands of little wiggly fishies darting around. (Sorry if my technical jargon was over your head.) JM loved all the “Nemos”.

    We came back to a snack and a nap and then went over to the school to set up chairs and equipment. We came back and had mozza stuffed chicken breasts and scalloped potatoes. The concert that night went so well. I really sensed the Spirit move especially as Mom was pleading with people before “Come to the Cross.” On a side note I am enjoying playing the violin on more songs this year.

    Saturday we had another big breakfast and packed up. We drove through a little bit of blowing snow (didn’t know it did that in Ontario =) but by the time we made it to Orillia 5 hours later it was starting to get sunny. Heidi and I took JM for a walk in a nature reserve then arrived at Hounsomes’ place. We squeezed all 29 of us (all though one of is pretty compact and stays pretty much hidden=) in their big house. Hounsomes had a big turkey dinner waiting for us, complete with all the trimmings. BTW, Heidi and I have been greatly limiting our sugar and carb intake and have been going for a walk every chance we get. Consequently we have both felt great in contrast to last year when I felt like I was constantly battling something healthwise.)

    Sunday, Hounsomes served up egg and English muffin sandwiches with sautéed onions and peppers. We all gathered in the basement for a time of singing and sharing. We began a study of James. In the afternoon, the kids played their assorted games. We had BBQ burgers before heading into Orillia for a concert in the church on a hill.

    Today Heidi and I had our annual date in Orillia. We went to some thrift stores and used book stores, then picked up a sub – at Mr. Sub of all places – and went to the lake front. We got such a kick out of J-M running around chasing black squirrels, then perfecting his new hopping and skipping abilities. He still just pumps his left arm when he runs, but not his right. Very funny. I read on the grass while Heidi and JM napped in the van then we went for a 2 and a half mile walk on the bike trail. We came back here for a big meal of tacos and Spanish rice. Well I’m off to bed, tomorrow we are going into Toronto to watch a Blue Jay game at 12:30 in the afternoon. Should be fun!

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